Paintball for Dummies
by ghibli22
Summary: The nations get ready for a 'friendly'/insane game of paintball


It started with an idiot.

"So," America said, sipping on his brand-name cola, "Who wants to sign up for paintball "

A few of the nations looked up from their meals but none stepped forward. America pouted and waved his paper in the air, "Come on, guys! It'll be awesome!"

Somewhere in the restaurant Prussia snorted, "Not without me it won't be!"

"Great!" America whipped out a pen, "So does that mean I can add your name to the list "

"Uh, no. I've got better and awesomer things to do with my precious time."

"Brother, its 'more awesome'. 'Awesomer' is not a word."

"Oh shut up, West! Stop discriminating against words!"

"_Guys!_" America grabbed a chair and hopped up on it, still waving his sign up sheet, "I promise it'll be fun!"

"Honestly, I'm relieved you're not going."

"What was that, West !"

"Things like this get you too riled up and you're hard to deal with."

"AMERICA PUT ME ON THAT LIST!"

America smiled, scrawling Prussia name down, "Alright! Anyone else " he looked around expectantly.

"I'll join."

Almost every head turned as Romano spoke up. He scowled at them, "What Would you rather I used a real gun when I feel like shooting something "

While everyone else was busy remembering that Romano was the head of the Italian mafia, America wrote his name on the list, "We're on a roll here! Who's next "

"I'm in!"

"Thanks, Australia! But leave the kola at home; that thing freaks the shit outta me!" Australia shrugged and America took down his name, "Who's next "

When no one answered the pouting returned, "I need at least one more person for a decent team! Come ooooooooooonnn!"

Still no one came forward. That is until-

"I'll come too. It sounds like it could be fun," Hungary called out. America stared at her.

"Pffft, Hungary stop joking around! You know that girls can't play paintball!"

Every nation seated between Hungary and America quickly vacated the area. Even Prussia ducked below a table, all too grateful that for once he wasn't in the line of fire. Hungary took a step forward, her fist tightening.

"What was that, America I didn't quite catch it."

All too oblivious to the ominous atmosphere directed his way America nodded, "Its _way_ to hard core and intense! Girls wouldn't be able to make it!"

"We'll see about that…" walking over she grabbed his shirt, pulling him down off the chair, "I challenge you to a paintball match. And we'll see who wins and who looses!"

America, never one to back down to a challenge (he was a HERO after all) smiled, "Okay! If my team looses, we'll all wear dresses to the next world summit!"

"What the hell ! I'm not doing that!!" Romano screamed, and would have charged at America if not for the five nations that held him back.

"That sounds fair," Hungary said, "And if my team looses, we'll serve everyone tea like in Japan's cosplay cafés!"

As Japan blushed just the tiniest bit, America held out his hand, "Deal! Just make sure you have your team ready."

Shaking it she added, "And either way, Poland can design our outfits."

Poland let out a cheer of approval as the bell signaling the re-commencing of the meeting sounded. While most other nations packed up their things, Hungary dragged a few of the girls to the side.

"We can't just let America go around like that can we "

Belgium shook her head, "No way. I am completely in on this."

"Me too," Taking one of the bows out of her hair Seychelles began to rework it, "I've always wanted to try it. Playing with America seemed no fun but playing_ against_ him…" she smiled, "That could be really interesting!"

Hungary nodded her head, "Alright. Now we just need two more players."

"We could get Belarus," Belgium suggested, "I bet she has some damn good aim."

"Yeah, but how All she cares about is chasing Russia all day."

"Don't sweat it; I've got a plan. Hey, Belarus!!" Belgium waved her arm to get the Russian sister's attention, "Come over here a second!"

Belarus stalked over, a frown set on her face, "What do you want If I loose sight of my Russia there will be consequences."

"Join our paintball team and I'll give you the blueprints to Russia's house."

There was a pause, "Fine," and she walked away.

Hungary and Seychelles turned to look at Belgium. She just smiled in return, "What "

"How did you- no, why do you have the blueprints to Russia's house "

"I don't. A library in Moscow does. Have you ever noticed that everyone who's a nation lives in really old houses Well, they're so important historically that they saved the blueprints! Pretty cool, huh "

Seychelles shook her head, "Good thing Belarus doesn't know that."

"And lets keep it that way," Hungary cut in, "Only one more player and we'll be set."

"Um… Excuse me Mrs. Hungary "

They all looked down at the newcomer, "Um, I'd like to join too. If it wouldn't be too much trouble."

Hungary grinned, "Of course not! Your our last player," she held out a hand, "Welcome to the team, Liechtenstein!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

On the other side of the room the guys were facing a similar problem.

"We need one more player! Who's it gonna be " America asked.

"Search me, mate," Australia replied, shifting the kola on his back. America stepped back, "I'm kind of isolated down there. Not the best in the way of neighbors."

Suddenly Romano spoke up, "Switzerland," everyone looked at him, "Think about it. That guy never goes anywhere without a shout gun strapped to his back and a handheld in his belt. His idea of a good time is target practice."

"Yeah everybody know that, short-stuff. But the question is how do we get him to join "

"What did you just call me you chick-molesting bastard !"

"Short-stuff. You're only pushing about 170 cm's, right "

"Why you-"

"Anyway!" America cut in, having enough common sense to prevent an all-out brawl, "How are gonna get him to join team America "

"Slow down there, we are not calling it team America."

"Why not Its a perfectly good name!"

"We should call it team Awesome!"

"Everyone shut the hell up! We can decide on the name later. Remember Switzerland "

"Oi, Switzerland!"

America, Romano and Prussia all stared in horror as Australia called the oh-so-neutral nation over. And, to their further horror, he began to walk in their direction.

"You idiot!" Romano hissed, "We don't have anything to offer him yet!"

"Yeah!" Prussia nodded his head, "Mr. Trigger-Happy has one major stick up his ass!"

"Guys, calm down," Australia smiled making the bandage on his nose crinkle, "I'm sure it'll work out!"

They all gaped at his positive attitude when Switzerland arrived, "What do you want "

America regained his thought first, "Join our paintball team!"

"No."

But the hero was not to be deterred, "Come on, Swiss!"

"Do it and I'll give you the key to Austria's underwear drawer," Prussia said as if it were the most normal thing in the world, carefully examining his fingernails.

Switzerland's face turned a brilliant shade of red, "Why in the world would I want that !"

"Because you-"

Before he could finish his sentence Romano tackled him. Partially because America asked him to, but mostly because he had wanted to do _something_ to shut him up for the longest time. As they went down Australia stepped forward, "If you join, we'll pay for your ticket, equipment, and lunch."

After a few minutes of thinking Switzerland agreed, unable to resist not paying anything, plus a free meal, "But if it's anything American I won't stick around."

Romano looked up with a scowl, slapping Prussia's hand away from his pants, "You think I would have joined if America was bringing lunch "

Switzerland gave a curt nod, "Fine then," and walked away.

"Alright!" America slapped his hands together as Prussia and Romano regained their footing, "We've got the best gunman on our side! Who's paying for his stuff "

The other three nations looked at him, "You are."

His face fell, "What Why me "

"Because," Romano stated crossing his arms, "this whole thing was your goddamn idea in the first place!"

"But-"

"And," Australia added, still smiling, "If you don't my koala will eat you!" As if to prove his point he swung the animal off his back to face America. It growled.

"A-aren't those things herbivores "

He tilted his head as innocently as one could while holding what might possibly be a man-eating koala, "You really want to take that chance, mate " The koala growled again.

Defeated, America stuffed his hands back in his pockets, "No… I'll pay."

"Good then!" Australia swung the animal back onto his back, "See ya later. I gotta go feed this little runt."

While Australia walked off and America was busy looking for his wallet, Romano glanced at Prussia warily, "Why the hell do you have that key, anyway "

Prussia wiggled his eyebrows in a way that was supposed to be mysterious but just came out creepy, "Its like the tootsie-pops!"

"Uh, what "

At that moment he ran off cackling, "THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW~!"


End file.
